Day for a Spray

I was so glad we went to the spray park.
It was delightfully fun and refreshing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bird brain

Kind of strange that I would put a bird on my blog. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I don't like birds. Well, not up close and personal. When I was little, we had a pet parakeet. I hated...that my mother would let that darned thing fly around the house. It would land on the kitchen sink faucet and I wouldn't drink from that faucet...forever. My mother just laughed. Everyone just laughed. They didn't get how disgusting that was. It loved to land on our heads. I was sure it was going to poop on me and besides that, its claws would prick my scalp and drive me nuts. I hated it. One day, Tinkerbell landed on my head and as luck would have it...I didn't know he was there and walked outside. Poor Tinkerbell was never seen again. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!)
But I have always loved looking at birds through cages and windows and in the wild...through binoculars. Get them too close to me and I react like some brainless idiot with serious paranoiac, phobic issues.
So I suppose it is odd to have a bird at the top of my blog. Well...I love this particular bird and it kind of symbolizes to me how there are really two sides to everything. I really love to watch birds and can appreciate their grace, color and beauty. But I also hate birds, they're prickly and pecky, they can poke with their beaks, and they can poop anywhere at any time. So I can see both sides of their personalities pretty clearly and I can take them either way depending on the circumstances. Certainly, we can look at each other two different ways, too - positively or negatively. We look for the bad and we surely will find it, we look for the good and we can find that side as well.
The other thing that I wanted to point out is that I LOVE this saying. Have any of you ever seen Mary Martin's stage version (musical) of "Peter Pan?" I grew up with that and there is one song in it where Peter sings, "I like to crow." It is really cute and I think these blogs are so great because they give us the voice that we all need. Sometimes we just need to sing our song. It doesn't matter what the song is or who is listening. We communicate because we have something unique in each of us that just feels better when we let it out.

While the moms and dads are away...

Well, Sonny surprised Megan and took her away to Washington D.C. He planned a big overnight excursion, "Harry Potter," shopping, museums, and then the temple. Whew!
So I get my grand-daughters all to myself. I love it! It is always nice to get rid of the parents and have time to myself with them. We aren't doing anything particularly special, just hanging out. That is my favorite thing...because I get to see them in their own world. Just spending the day with them is awesome.
Each of my grandchildren have different personalities and I love to watch them interact with their siblings, parents, friends, strangers and with life's little challenges as they come along. This morning it was blueberries in the waffles. I couldn't get one past Ryen for anything. Who would have thought that blueberries would be a challenge? But it was.
One by one, they touch my heart in such tender ways.
I'm so glad when the moms and dads are away...

...while moms and dads are away, cont.

My blogging was interrupted by a set of screams coming from the family room. Ryen came running in with terror and panic on her face. Maddie had ripped the prophets! Upon further investigation, Madelyn had apparently found a Jehovah Witness pamphlet I had thrown away and ripped it up. Ryen was beside herself that she had ruined her mother's prophet pictures. I could not dissuade her and she was overcome by grief. Distraction was my only option and I quickly found a better cartoon to catch her interest. I love it (well not that they were sad and fighting, but just enjoying these personalities...don't ya know?).

Outer Banks

Things I'll remember about this trip to the Outer Banks:

A great, but long trip out having a terrific talk with Meggie -
Dinner out and yummy deep fried mushrooms
and cheesy french fries (my first taste of them) -
Sonny working downstairs...late into the night -
Playing around way past bedtime, wondering if the girls would ever settle down -
Sleeping with Ryen, having her snuggle up close -
Wondering if I would ever fall asleep -
Sonny leaving for work before anyone was up -
Breakfast with crushed muffins coating yogurt smeared faces
and strawberries, strawberries, and more strawberries -
Ryen approaching another passenger in the elevator, "Hello, I'm Ryen and I'm nice! This is my sister, Maddie and she's nice, too!" -
Great beach, cool shade, and mucky, brown ocean, oppresive heat -
Meg taking soooo many pictures -
Meg and Sonny seraching for smoothies and ending up with slurpies -
Not too much time to read -
My first time working out in a gym...ever -
Actually working out in a gym...twice! -
Making Meg and Sonny work out in the gym -
Watching the girls in the pool by myself -
Maddie falling out of her floaty toy and ending upside down in the water
(close call, I felt pure panic on that one) -
Shopping and buying a size 10 skirt -
Sleeping with Ryen the second night and having her beat me up all night.
I don't know what dream she was having and what part I played in it but everytime I went to cover her up she started thrashing and pounding at me.
So much for being nice in the air conditioned, cold room! -
Sonny up and out early for work, work, work -
Ryen pushing the elevator buttons whenever we went up and down and learning how to open the hotel door with a card (she could do it better than I could) -
Maddie repeating almost everything that Ryen did -
Maddie's walk, well waddle, well gallop down the halls -
Maddie talking while sucking on her binky (skdmdolemmfdylloglpplsekse)
and Megan understanding that language perfectly -
Meg and I driving home...exhausted.

Ryen and I were practicing our winking. She's good. I look pretty scary.

It was really hot and pretty muggy. The girls love the sand but not the sun. The beach has a wonderful pier that gives lots of shade for anyone who wants to hide from the sunshine while they are busy digging in the sand.

Meg takes so many pictures.

I had a little time to read.

Ryen and Maddie loved the balcony.
We had to take away all the balcony furniture just to be sure there climbing was impeded.
They love to explore where ever they are and Ryen is
an expert at making up games and entertainment what ever the circumstances.
Here, she and Maddie are
debating what things were in the waves,
wondering how to catch the birds,
and looking at the water they were pouring over the edge.
Oops! We were on the fifth floor, not too nice for the people walking by. ):

Sidewalk Chalk Sunday

I love Sundays. I love going to church. I love getting dressed up in my best clothes. I love the music, the feeling I get, the spirit of the day. I love resting from all the normal things I feel I HAVE to do every other day. It is like taking a deep breath of the freshest cleanest air. It is thinking of a Heavenly Father that is sitting somewhere not so very far away, that loves me...no matter what. I love Sundays. It is always a day full of gratitude for not just a few things but for everything.
This Sunday was no different from all the things I listed except I was with a different set of loved ones. It is hard to sometimes keep the little ones appropriately busy on the Sabbath. Ryen had watched some FHE dvd's that Meg had gotten through Deseret Books. She seemed especially proud of the fact that she could single handedly click the right button that would continue the program on and on through the whole lesson. We heard her singing songs long after Maddie and the rest of us had tired of it.
That's when Megan brought out the sidewalk chalk. All those colors and a blank sidewalk brought out the best in the two girls and it kept them busy for a long time while we waited for Sonny to come home. Ryen worked on writing her numbers while Madelyn decided the chalk was entertaining enough for her.




Yawn....sigh...ahhh...it was a great day. We ended it with smoothies and the "Work and the Glory." Just a simple, sidewalk chalk kind of Sunday.

On my mind...

So much of my daily concerns revolve around my diet and exercise now a days. I cannot believe it! It cracks me up quite honestly. I know you all must get so tired of hearing about it. So much of the time I am trying a new diet and sharing it with whoever will listen to me rant and rave on and on... It gets boring, I know.
So what is fun is that when I went to Ben and Carrie's THEY were going on and on about exercise and then when I went to Kaleb's house, Kaleb and Suz went on and on (well, I kind of picked their brain a lot - they weren't as pushy as Ben was! ha, ha!) about the ABs diet. Suz was cooking all their meals using the recipes and suggestions from the diet. After being on strictly green veggies and some fruit and whole grains pretty much, I was elated to eat bread and dairy and stuff that had been strictly banned. And I lost a whopping 7 pounds while I was there and dropped a dress size by living and doing what they suggested.
So when I came home I decided that this was a diet that I could live with and immediately set out to put Cait and Joel on the diet as well. So far.. all the meals have been pretty much a success and we are all eating without the feelings of deprivation. Then I found out Ben and Carrie were doing the ABs diet plan, too (at least some of it).
So now I was determined to get Meg and Sonny going on it. Yesterday was the shopping day. Meg was exhausted by the time we left Wally World. (not our favorite place to shop)
The humorous part of this story comes when the exercising began. Megan was gung ho. She was a trooper, a super determined exercise guru. Of course there were some grunts and toots and looks to kill but I was so proud of her. However, that was not good enough, if she was going to do them - Sonny was going to have to do them too. By this time it was 11:30 at night. We put on the "Planet Earth" hoping to lure him to the exercise destination. He fell for it and was not too, too happy about the look on Megan's face which said drill sargent all over it. By this time at night, her patience was waning and she did not want to mess around. I made her read the book and hand out the assignments. What better way to learn the routine than to teach it to Sonny? Now picture this: Sonny is intently watching the "Planet Earth" and not so intently going through the moves. He is doing the squats. Next thing we knew he had lost his pants. Yep, they fell right off. See how fast this diet works? Amazing. He had to repeat the set of squats and the second time we were all prepared for the inevitable. You got it, he lost them again. It was so funny. ...had to be there to really appreciate it.
So...we are moving along here. All is in place. We've got the food. We've got the weights and we all have that "I'm gonna do it, to it," attitude. I am drinking my distilled water/green juice...cooking breakfast for Sonny...and pushing the ABS diet to another branch of the Tracy clan. My work is never done. (:
I can only imagine what the future generations will remember about me. I am just trying to make up for all the soda pop, cookies and candy I fed to my children all those years...and the bad example I set for them - thinking I was setting a good example. Some how I have to try to make this right!
Whew!

Run, Pam, Run

I had a good Friday. Meg is one of those secret shoppers and her next assignment was a local pizza place. Not exactly on my diet, but I HAD to help her out. The pizza was some of the best I have ever had, but the business flunked miserably on most other counts. Sonny had to go to youth conference so Meg and I took the girls and did a little somethin' special. By the time we all got home and the dust settled, it was late, but we decided to watch an episode from the "Planet Earth" series. Now this is a must see for anyone who does not have a primitive mind. It helps you appreciate the world we live in from the comforts of your easy chair. It is amazing. I kept saying, "Wow!" It was kind of embarrassing, but it just kept slipping out like when you ooh and aah at the fireworks. Anyway, the real point of this little blog is that we went to bed pretty late, even by my standards and I woke up at 7:10 this morning and WANTED to get up and run. I still can't believe it. And instead of rolling over and pulling the covers up, I got my somewhat lazy bum out of bed and did just that. I ran until I couldn't, and then I walked as fast as I could, and then I ran some more. It felt soooo good. Am I actually turning into someone that eats right (well most of the time) and exercises? Even when no one is looking or pushing me to do it? Is it possible that I am turning into that kind of a person? Well I have always wanted to be like "them." I guess miracles can happen at any age. As I sit here dripping with sweat and drinking my cool glass of water another thought comes to mind: Should I go lift weights? Nahhhh...well...maybe.
Thanks Ben, Carrie, Suzanne, Caitlyn, and Carolyn...I owe you!

My Family

Last night I traveled to visit Megan and family. I left Drew, Amber, Cait, Joel, Emma, and Tanner behind with a certain sadness knowing how much I would miss them. It was so hard to leave Ben, Carrie, Benson, and Banks. It was so hard to leave Steve, Kaleb, Suzanne, Rozlyn, Spencer, and Celeste. It is the same everywhere and everytime and with everyone I go visit. I miss eveyone I leave behind and I am always so anxious and excited to see the family I am going to see.
I sat on the plane looking out at the gorgeous sunset above the clouds and reflected about just how blessed I am to have this amazing group of people that belong to me. How blessed I am to know them and learn from them and just be around them.
I know that most people think that their family is the best. At least I hope that is the case for most of us. But honestly, I think my family truly IS the best. I am so humbly grateful for each and every one of them. We are far from perfect, I know, but I think so highly of each of them and couldn't be prouder of the people they are.
The sunset had turned to darkness and below me I watched the twinkle of a million lights. It is always kind of magical, flying at night. A tremendous peace overcame me. I thought about how my family was the most important thing in my life. I thought about quitting my job and being an "irresponsible slacker" (as some view me, to be sure) so that I could continue being "a mom." How I had made the choice over and over again to be accessible and available for my children and grandchildren. How much the relationships with my family mean to me. I am so grateful that I can travel and spend time with each of them.
My family...my family...I don't regret any of my decisions to make them the most important part of my life. They are the sweetest part of life!

Procrastination Fascination

I am a procrastinator. All my life I have suffered with this incurable disease. For me it is incurable because the root of it stems from feelings of being overwhelmed or not really knowing how to do something properly or fear. What is clear is that this has been a major stumbling block and inhibitor all my life. I have to work really hard to overcome the feelings that stand in my way to make the progress I so desperately want to make.
My older sister's birthday is coming up. It is a big one and all of us are getting together to celebrate it. I thought it would be a good idea to make her something special. It involved a sewing project and my sisters are the best seamstresses I know. Man, they are good. I was hoping since I came up with the idea, they would do the work. Well, they both ended up deferring to me. All of a sudden I wasn't so sure about my BIG idea and my BIG mouth. But, I got the material right away because I knew exactly what I wanted, but then I stalled and stalled because I couldn't figure out how to do it. I took any comments from anyone about it as a sign that I was on the wrong track. Anyway, after stewing in these juices and procrastinating for too long, one day after my shower these words came to me. 'Don't concentrate on what you cannot do, concentrate on what you can do.' I keep forgetting that. I have been told that so many times you would think it was my personal mantra. That having been said, I got to work. It turned out okay and interestingly enough because surely this project is not going to save the world or anything, I received further inspiration over and over as I worked and came to further perplexing challenges. At one point, I was even reminded again to concentrate on what I could do - not what I couldn't do. So I finished it at the last hour and it was another lesson, hopefully learned this time.
First of all, Heavenly Father cares about what we care about because he cares so much for us. I can see how that might effect the way I feel about someone else's interests.
Second of all, there is always something we CAN do. So much of the time we concentrate on our lack of skill when we should work hard at what we do have to offer.
Third of all, perseverance pays off much better dividends in the end as opposed to procrastination.
So maybe there is hope for the great procrastinator, we'll see how Candy likes her gift.

I think I have a picture of nearly every one of my grandchildren wearing my shoes. Emma is especially interested in all of my shoes. She takes them off my feet and wears them around or as soon as I take them off, on her feet they go. I am not sure she could jog very well in these.

So Emma has really become the potty princess. She is very careful to take her business seriously and she likes to go in my bathroom to do it. So this morning as she was washing her hands, she looked to the side and there at her disposal, was a bag full of lipstick. She thought it was lip gloss and didn't realize that there was any color in it. She tried this particular color on and when she glanced in the mirror she was quite pleased. (Which brought up the "lipstick" lecture. You know how mommies and grammies are the only ones that can use lipstick.) I couldn't believe how old she looked in this picture...kind of scary.

So after church on Sunday I went to Edine's house in Lowell. I had gone up to Girl's camp to visit them a few weeks ago. I had commented that I had never tasted chile rellenos (spelling is probably wrong) anywhere as good as hers. I am not kidding they melt in your mouth and are sooooo good. Nothing has ever compared. So she invited me to come down to her house and she would teach me. How could I resist. I now know how to make the best. Whether I can duplicate them remains to be seen. We all brought something for the meal. They let me off easy with chips and salsa, and Edine, Kris and I spent the afternoon together. Afterwards, Edine took me to see, her mom, Marian. It has been a long time since I have seen her. Despite her stroke, she hasn't changed much. Lots of zing and still talks nonstop. I loved seeing her and when I left she told me to be sure to tell all my children that she sends her love and thinks of you all often. Pretty cool...

Beach Bunnies

This little bunny went to the beach and sat on her chair.
This little bunny went to the beach and laid on her blanket.
But this little bunny went to the beach and sat in her chair AND laid on her towel.

This little bunny went to the water, stuck her toes in and cried too, too, too cold all the way back to her seat.
This little bunny went to the water, stuck her toes in and went up to her ankles and cried too, too, too cold all the way back to her blanket.
But this little bunny went to the water and kept walking out farther and farther and farther until finally the waves splashed so high that she dunked right in and then after a while she went back to her towel and said whee, whee, whee, that was delightful!

Now which bunny was which...do you know?

The girls would kill me if they knew this picture was posted, but the other pictures were even worse. Today was the day...the girls went to the beach. The day was perfect. The temp was ideal, not too hot, a little breeze, no bugs, the water was crystal clear and it wasn't crowded.
The only problem was that the water was freezing which was sad because last week it was delightfully warm. After quite a few over night rains and cooler temps the water temp went back to those typical of May or early June. I knew it had to be bad because as soon as we got there I immediately noticed that NO ONE was in the water. There weren't even very many near the water's edge. I mean seriously, maybe two people were playing along the edge.
For the day after the 4th of July this was abnormal for Lake Michigan. After being there about an hour, and being a participant of the early morning dip club for many years, I was undaunted by the water's frigid challenge. I was determined to get my Lake Michigan swim-fix. As I walked to the shore I looked around and once again noticed that NO ONE was in the water - "Jaws" flashed through my mind. Naw...not possible...I glanced down through the crystal clear water just to make sure. I walked further and further. I checked my legs to see if they had turned red. No, it was safe to proceed...I could do this. I think this particular dunk may have taken me 15 to 20 minutes. When I finally did immerse myself, I realized that my feet were numb. I went under again just to enjoy the sensation of all that coolness. It almost took my breath away. Slowly I returned to my place on the sand...totally happy with the feeling of accomplishment.
The three of us continued our conversations. A short while later I looked out at the water and noticed to my surprise it was full of people! I guess it just took one brave soul to lead the way. Funny thing was that later this afternoon I went in one more time before we left and the very same thing happened again. I was the only one in the water and then after I got out...everyone else got in.
Hey...you don't think...naw....

I haven't written in a long time. It just seems like there is nothing really to report. I always have Emma and Tanner stories but for the most part my life is just so simple and easy going. And I love it that way! Days consist of exercising, cooking new healthy recipes, eating right and spending time with friends and family. I am so blessed to have an ideal life. I am trying to get ready for a mission and that means reading and study time too. The only thing I am missing (besides the tracyclan that isn't here) is my writing time. I have to figure out a way to get that in. I have to make it a priority!!!!!! I fall asleep thinking about my books and wake up doing the same thing and then my day is off and running...no written pages...
Well our Fourth of July was a nice one in the end. Cait woke up feeling really sick. Joel had a big test on Tuesday and then his teacher sent home the rest of the test as a take home test. He spent three hours Tuesday night on it and at least as much time Wed. It was so hard to watch him spend his holiday doing homework. Tanner had lost our last phone Tues. night and so we had no phone. I don't blame him or anything - it is such a good toy. No matter what we seemed to do with it, he always got his hands on it. Well we couldn't find it anywhere. While Cait and the kids took their naps I headed to the store for a new one.
Then it was time to get ready for dinner. The Elders were coming and Drew and Amber. Whew! We almost ordered pizza. It was a little hectic but not bad and so we celebrated the holiday with barbeque chicken, corn on the cob, baked beans, pasta salad, watermelon, and cold slaw. Amber brought a yummy dessert and we were set.
Remember how Uncle Steve would always bring fireworks when he came for the 4th? Well I bought some...for the first time in my life. I got some sparklers and pop-its too.
After dinner we used the pop-its and a few sparklers to test the reactions of Emma and Tanner. They really got into it. Emma was jumping on them to make them pop if she couldn't throw them hard enough. That was when Tanner got into the leftover watermelon. We went to the park to watch the fireworks across the lake. This time we went to the water's edge to view them. Not one obstacle in the way. Emma waded in the water and the kids enjoyed the pre-show of everyone around us. Joel took the opportunity to cut cattails and prepare them for a snack (although he didn't give me any...bummer). The fireworks were delightful. There were some that I had never seen before. I think that fireworks are definitely something you should always brave the crowds for. They are SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a special treat.
Then we came home and lit ours. We sat around the fire pit and ooohed and aaahed. Such simple pleasures. What a joy! I love the fourth. I love all that goes with it. Hurray for the land and life I love!